Electric Sander Fitted With Silencer Hinders Builders’ Progress

Following complaints from neighbours in the sleepy town of NothingBetterTo Doville-on the-Wold, builders renovating a historic property have had to use electric tools fitted with silencers and hand tools made of sponge. The contract, which was originally scheduled to take 3 weeks, will now continue for the next 3 years. This follows on from last year’s high profile trial when a local woman was convicted for turning the pages of a book too loudly in the library on Insanely Quiet Street.

More local news tomorrow… Main headlines: Man Loses Hat

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