I’d Put My House On It

Well, let’s not be too hasty. I’d put my house on their relative guilt, but yours on the legal outcome.

It seems Prince Andrew, Duke of York [or former titles, presumably, now the Queen has thrown him under the bus, uh, horse-drawn carriage, stripped naked of his royal credentials – and if you fully believe that, you’ll believe anything – but, as I oft do, digress] and Novak Djokovic [or Novichok as he’s now known to me for short – move on, nothing to see here but, ummm, a cathedral enthusiast] have something in common. Are you keeping up? Sorry. [I’ll remove the digression brackets now.]

Wealth. Obscene wealth. And what does that buy you? Obscene lawyers.

If you read my previous two captions [on Instagram], firstly, a week ago, with a degree of neat prescience, I cynically referred to Novichok as potentially suffering from ‘bullshit or simple arrogance’. A week later, I believe that plump chicken has largely come home to roost. Secondly, as per yesterday’s caption, I believe the royal formerly known as Prince to be about as innocent as a crocodile with a wildebeest leg hanging from the corner of its mouth implying he was only using it as a toothpick.

We all know the world is catastrophically imbalanced between, not even so much as the haves and have nots, but the obscenely haves and have nots, who essentially have their obscene wealth to throw at anything. Imagine, for a moment, a world where everyone had that access when it came to the law. We wouldn’t need many prisons, eh?

And people like Prince, Novichok [apologies for lumping you in with these, by the way – bad timing, like a loose forehand going into the stand!], Maxwell and Epstein will have their day in court, and then their appeal in court, maybe even a further appeal in court, or a brown envelope filled with cash should guilt feel a bit too uncomfortably close.

Climate change arguably sounds like a good thing when faced with such warped ugliness, eh? Albeit, the lawyers would still likely survive, with the cockroaches, to start again.

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