Photographer and Writer
Kids say the [unintentionally] funniest things… Wandering through the sublime Westonbirt Arboretum we come across three young kids playing among the trees. They all pick up sticks from the ground and begin waving them in the air. The first excitedly strikes a pose and exclaims…”I’ve got a sword!” The second yelps “I’ve got a gun!” The third looks briefly lost for options before saying “I’ve got a… stick.” He’s either going to become a stand-up comedian or I fear for his imaginative future.
They suggest kids’ attention spans are getting shorter and narrower all the time. I recently had a conversation with a lad at school and it went like this: “My nan has cancer… [and before I could even consider an appropriate response he follows it almost without a breath with] …my other nan has four houses.”
“My feet catch the pulse and the purposeful stride.
I feel the sense of possibilities,
I feel the wrench of hard realities.
The focus is sharp in the city.”
– Neil Peart
Following complaints from neighbours in the sleepy town of NothingBetterTo Doville-on the-Wold, builders renovating a historic property have had to use electric tools fitted with silencers and hand tools made of sponge. The contract, which was originally scheduled to take 3 weeks, will now continue for the next 3 years. This follows on from last year’s high profile trial when a local woman was convicted for turning the pages of a book too loudly in the library on Insanely Quiet Street.
More local news tomorrow… Main headlines: Man Loses Hat
Yeah, I know. Harsh. This white-van-man delivery driver was parked up in a leafy park. [He may well have been working for 24 hours straight and was desperate for a nap. Or, it was a warm day and the environment had soothed him to sleep.]
Either way… I was standing on tiptoes to get my lens through the part-rolled down window. My other half was doing her best a) not to laugh and b) pretend she wasn’t with me! My first attempt had camera shake. This was my second. He woke with a start on the C-L-A-N-G of the shutter. “Morning…” I smiled. It was about 3:30pm. He was non-nonplussed. And I was gone.
Nige' Ollis 